How To Kill Office Creativity

   

  1. When someone says they have an idea respond with “We don’t fix something that’s not broken!”
  2. If you absolutely have to endure a presentation about a new suggestion, yawn conspicuously. After about 5 minutes ask the presenter  if they could quickly pop out and grab you a cup of coffee while you read through the slides. That should throw them!
  3. Paint the areas where staff like to congregate a green gray color, including the toilets and kitchen. The color will have a cold and unwelcoming effect.
  4. Never employ someone with tattoos and body jewelry. Or curly hair. Write a Policy that emphasizes a sleek haircut.
  5. Only employ attractive people, the competition between them will heighten insecurities and allow you to manipulate their weaknesses. Unless it’s your personal assistant. Then go with quality first, appearance second.
  6. Reward staff who compliment you and never question you.
  7. Don’t decorate as it could encourage  a playful atmosphere. The only one smiling should be you.
  8. Ban YouTube (it’s only the second largest search engine), and all interactive social media sites (Facebook, Twitter etc.). Prevent access to all sites except those specifically business related.

If any one of these characteristics sounds like you, go work in Japan. If they’ll have you. If not, try China. They’ll like you for sure…

If 2 are you, sell your company and take your megalomaniac self to an island, solitary so you can’t harm anyone. Take a cat.

If 3 or more are you. You must be one helluvah evangelist…

Blooming creativity

Blooming creativity

If however you would like to inspire creativity and mental alacrity, check out the infographic below for some key ideas such as what color to paint your walls and if dim lighting is better for freedom.

The Five Sense Guide to Inspiring Workplace Creativity

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About Leonie Hall

I'm on a mission to make training information and resources accessible so you can Keep Climbing!

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